Basic Self-Controls To Interact Effectively With People And How To Avoid The Biggest Breakdown In Communication

SELF-CONTROL #3:  Perception Checking Strategy

Before responding or jumping to the wrong conclusion, practice perception checking, especially when the outcomes count.  Begin to use such expressions as:

  • Let me see if I understood you.

  • So what you are saying is...(fill in what you understood) 

  • What I'm hearing is...(fill in what you understood) 

  • It's important that we understand each other or our goals.

  • It's important that we both understood what we just discussed.Let's make sure that we are both on the same page.

CHECK to make sure that you have understood and/or are understood by the other person involved in the interaction.  One more thing. when you do use perception checking be sure to come across as clear, considerate, and sincere about understanding.  Avoid sounding sarcastic or condescending.  This takes practice.  To be more successful,  return to Self-Control #1. 

By taking such control you, then, can slow down the communication process and turn off the automatic pilot as a communicator.  This enables you to interact purposefully and consciously with others.  Take a closer look at three of the self-control strategies that  you may choose to help you be more competent and effective as a communicator.

Maintaining Your Professional Cool

  1. Decide on the professional image you want to project in your business role. How do you want others to view you?

  2. Professional control is more than controlling your temper or not screaming. Championship professional control means to turn off the automatic pilot and deliberately come across in the way you want to come across to achieve desirable results - all of the time.

  3. Assume champion control during those emotionally charged times, i.e., when the unforeseen happens, when you must read yourself as others read you, when your inner voice says "uh-oh, I better be careful about what I say and how I come across."

  4. Have the "out-of-body communication experience." THINK-ACT without reacting automatically and letting unprofessional feelings get in your way. Think about the goals you want to achieve within this communication as well as the impact of your voice, body language and actual words. Take the 3-second "Think" break before you respond!

  5. Ask, "What am I really saying when I take away my words?" Read yourself as others read you! 

  6. To be in control of your behavior you need to avoid letting the behaviors of others control you. Avoid giving permission to others to get you flustered, angry, defensive, etc. Take responsibility for your behavior and, therefore, your actions, reactions and your life.

Maintaining professional control in any situation requires your planning goals and desired results and achieving them as well as slowing down the Communication process.  You may not be aware of how you look and sound when you speak and listen to others, however - everyone else is aware.